Crazy Boss Factor

On average we will work for 3.5 crazy bosses in our career. This is how they break down:

1. Certifiable
2. Mean
3. Unbalanced \ Half Crazy (this accounts for 1.5)

Here are some notes that will help you if you find yourself in any of these situations.

Certifiable – they are crazy beyond belief. Everyone knows it and Human Resources doesn’t even try to defend their  actions anymore.  For reasons that you will never know, this person will never be fired or disciplined.   If you are in this situation your emotions will vary.  Initially you will be scared and feel all alone.  As time goes on you will realize that you are not alone.  You will talk to co-workers around the water cooler when nobody is around.  This will be your support group.

Eventually you will enjoy this situation.  The entertainment value that this craziness will produce will fuel you.  Sadly, this will be short lived.  The maximum amount of time that anyone can survive the certifiable boss stage is a year and a half.  If you are over the one year mark, start looking for a new job immediately.  This monster MOMENT should not be dismissed.  If you don’t deal with it, you will be torn apart. Do not make the mistake of thinking that you can beat this situation because you can not.  Time and time again the crazy boss wins.  Accept that and move on.

Mean – This boss is typically someone that you refer to as being an asshole.  Dealing with this boss is simple.  Avoid them at all costs.  You can never respond to them in the manner that you would like to.  Why?  Because they are an asshole.  They will berate and belittle you ever chance they get.  In most cases this boss is male and acts this way because he has an extremely small penis.

You will listen to stories about little league every day.  No, not their kids playing in little league.  This person has not met anyone to reproduce with yet.  Instead they will tell you their own little league stories.  Oh that single to win that game in 1974, ah, those were the days Mr. Jones.  You really were on top of the world Mr. Jones.  If you hear yourself saying these things, you can be sure that you fall into this category.

Unbalanced \ Half Crazy – This will account for 1.5 of your 3.5 crazy bosses.  This hybrid category presents some challenges but if dealt with appropriately can be both rewarding and manageable.  Some days they don’t seem crazy.  Other days they do.   More often than not this boss will be female.  Many people make a common mistake when they work for somebody like this.  They think they have figured it out and chalk the experience up to PMS.

Read these words carefully; That is a rookie mistake.  Do not dismiss this situation as being some kind of hormonal induced problem.  It is not.  If you chalk this up to PMS, you will do what many others have done before you and chart it out.  Yes today she is crazy, you mark it down and think you are safe for 28 days.

You are not safe.

Just when you think you are safe, you will be attacked.  Your memo had a spelling error and you will find yourself being dragged out to the wood shed as a result.  Remember with an unbalanced \ half crazy boss there is no rhyme or reason.  There will be bad days.  Just take a long lunch those days and try to minimize the damage.  This is the only situation that has potential for good days.  So if you can time things right (sick days) you can survive.

We repeat, you can survive.